The Arm Party

Having babies has seriously cramped my accessorizing. I'm not complaining. I'm happier spending every day in grubby shorts and t-shirts than I ever was getting all dolled up to go sit in an office every day. But sometimes a girl just needs a little bling...bling that can't be hauled on by curious baby-hands. Hence my current obsession with the arm party. Since I can no longer wear my beloved dangley earrings or giant necklaces, why not throw on a massive pile of bracelets?

Sunday Morning arm party

Stella & Dot Renegade Cluster bracelet
Stella & Dot Pyramid Double Wrap bracelet
Bermuda and Cape Cod bracelets

Walk like an Egyptian arm party

Stella & Dot Renegade Cluster bracelet
Bermuda and Cape Cod bracelets
Vintage scarab bracelet and enamel cuff

Super Shiny arm party
Stella & Dot Devi bangles in silver
Stella & Dot Corso cuff
Bermuda and Cape Cod bracelets
Vintage Sarah Coventry bracelet

A letter to myself.

37 weeks , August 4, 2010

Dear Me:

I know what you're doing...you're sitting in bed, watching Twilight in a feeble attempt to distract yourself from the dread that's making your heart so heavy you think it might suffocate you and the babies. You're feeling like before your tenure as a mother has even begun, you've already failed. Failed because your c-section was scheduled and instead of being so excited to meet those two little guys you've grown, you're terrified. Failed because despite every attempt, you couldn't get Baby A to turn. Failed because you think having a natural birth was your last chance to have a "normal" pregnancy experience. Failed because after everything you've been through over the last two years--the heartache, the fear, the shots and procedures--you've been so brave. But where is your courage now?

Well, lovey, let me give you a little peak into the future. I can't tell you that the c-section was great, that the hospital met all your birth plan requests, that breastfeeding was a breeze, or that what happens on August 12 won't change you--make you stronger and harder in some ways and more fragile in others. But I can tell you this: one year from now, you will be so proud of yourself.

You will have these two perfect little humans that you will marvel at every day. They will exceed your wildest expectations...like that somehow the embryologist selected the two sperms and two eggs that contained the very best of S's and your DNA. You will look at them every day and be reminded of how blessed you are, of just how much God spared you from...that, as bad as it was, it could have been far, far worse.

You won't suck at being a mother. In fact, for the first time in your life, you'll actually feel like you're good at something. You'll find patience and love like you could never have imagined (Mom was right...you had NO idea the depth of a mother's love).

You'll finally understand that you couldn't move Baby A (that's G, by the way), because once he makes his mind up to do something, he does it no matter what. He's stubborn and tenacious. And you'll love him for those qualities and a million others.

And I know you're worried that things will change between you and S. They will. But not like you think. You'll actually be closer and more of a team than ever before. His stoicism will balance your neurotic mama freak-outs, and your heart will break at how deeply devoted he is to the boys. Seeing them together will remind you over and over of why you went through what you did--to give him this gift...these babies...his sons.

Now go back to watching Edward and Bella. Enjoy these last few lazy moments. Thank God that you're 37 weeks pregnant with two strong, healthy babies. Find peace in your heart knowing that despite what happens next week, it will all be worth it. In a year, G will sing along as you two dance around to the Slackers. Q will give you big, wet kisses and rub his little cheek against yours. A lot will be taken from you in that operating room, but not these moments. They will be made more precious, more sweet and fleeting, because you will never forget that for as bad as it was, it could have been far, far worse.

Love,
You

Ricotta Spelt Pancakes

Sunday morning was the last day of our first family vacation (we were technically home at that point), and even though we often make a big breakfast on Sunday mornings (like this one), I decided I wanted to do something extra special. Try something new. Most importantly, I wanted G and Q to be able to eat whatever I made. I looked for some inspiration online and decided to make ricotta pancakes. To make them baby-friendly, I opted to use spelt flour instead of all-purpose.

The result? The lightest, moistest, most flavorful pancakes ever. To gussy them up for S and me, I topped them with a homemade lemon thyme syrup and blackberries from our bushes. The lads just had them plain, but loved them any way. Q scarfed two in two minutes flat (mmmm-mmmming the entire time, as he is wont to do (that kid is a serious foodie already!)) and would have eaten more if we hadn't already polished them off!

Ricotta Spelt Pancakes, aka Babies' 1st Pancakes
serves 4 (or, in our case, 2 piggish adults and 2 babies)

1 cup organic whole milk ricotta
1/2 cup water (you could use milk to make them richer, but I used water since the lads haven't had milk yet)
2 large eggs, separated
1/2 cup spelt flour
1 tsp baking powder
2 tbsp raw sugar
1 tsp sunflower oil

1. In a large mixing bowl, combine the ricotta, water and egg yolks. Add the flour, baking powder, and sugar, stirring to make a thick batter.
2. In another bowl, whisk the egg whites until they are white and foamy, but still loose. Gently fold the beaten whites into the batter. (Note: you could easily skip this step if you aren't yet ready to give your baby egg whites. The result would simply be a denser, less fluffy pancake.)
3. Heat the oil in a skillet or large frying pan over medium heat. Using a tablespoon, drop batter onto the hot pan. Cook pancakes approximately 2 minutes per side, or until they are a golden brown. I ended up getting about 24 half-dollar size pancakes (yep...we ate them all!!!).

Lemon Thyme Syrup

1 cup water
1 cup raw sugar
5 sprigs of thyme
1 lemon, zested

1. Add water, sugar, whole thyme sprigs, and zest of the lemon to a small sauce pan over medium low heat.
2. Bring mixture to a slow boil, just until sugar is melted.
3. Remove from heat and let cool. Remove thyme and strain lemon zest (if you'd like--I left the zest in because I think it looks pretty!).

Pasta Salad Nicoise

It's always during those few days leading up to doing some major food shopping when your true culinary mettle is tested. There's nothing fresh...just a few limp leaves of lettuce and a wrinkly apple staring out of the crisper drawer. Your pantry is a hodgepodge of random ingredients (pasta shaped like Christmas stockings? Where did that come from?) I love those days. Some of my best recipes have come to me during those times (like this one). But, you know, I also like to watch Chopped and mentally play along (what would I make out of calamari, prickly pear, chocolate syrup and Wasa toasts?). I'm crazy like that.

During such a time this Pasta Salad Nicoise was born. It was a particularly dry spell for our kitchen because I was in the middle of giving myself about 20 shots of fertility drugs each day, which meant grocery shopping was a super low priority. That said, I was also preparing my body for the embryos that would be transferred in a few weeks and eating lots of protein, lots of Omegas, lots of greens, blah, blah blah...but let's be honest, the hormones were making me crave lots of CARBS. This salad fit the bill on many levels, so we ate it frequently over those few weeks (while watching copious hours of Golden Girls to distract ourselves!). And hey--two out of our three transferred embryos took, so who's to say there isn't some secret fertility juju in it...eat it at your own risk!

Pasta Salad Nicoise, serves 4
1/2 lb pasta (I think Barilla gemelli or mezze penne work best for this, but you use the shape you like best)
1 can tuna in water, drained
2 hard boiled eggs
1/3 bag (about 1 cup) frozen, shelled edamame (I know haricot vert are traditional for this salad, but I think the size and firmness of the edamame holds up much better next to the pasta while keeping a similar flavor profile--and majorly upping the protein)
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 heaping teaspoon dijon mustard
1/2 tsp celery seed
2 dozen kalamata olives
s&p to taste
baby spinach

1. Put eggs on to boil, starting them in cool water. Bring to a boil for 5 minutes, then remove the eggs from heat and let them sit for another 5 minutes. Pour off hot water and recover the eggs with cold water, letting them sit until you are ready to mix them into the salad.
2. Cook pasta to specifications on the box, adding edamame to the cooking pasta for the last 3 minutes.
3. Drain pasta and edamame, then pour into a large bowl. While the pasta is still warm, add the tuna, mayo, dijon, celery seed, and salt and pepper. Mix and adjust ingredients as needed or to your taste (I have a dijon problem, so I actually add more like 2 teaspoons instead of the 1 stated above).
4. Peel and roughly chop eggs. Mix them into the pasta.
5. To serve, place pasta salad on a bed of baby spinach and top with 1/2 dozen kalamata olives. A big hunk of French bread and glass of Pinot Noir can't hurt either.

Bon appetite!